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……that I would so know better by now, but no.

I was in such a good mood yesterday, everything was going great (like besides the dog, she barks for 45 mins after my land lady leaves in the morning). I was feeling really happy here in the middle of no-where, its really nice in a place where no one knows you or anything about you. Back home it was hard because everyone either knew me or knew of me. Getting hit by a boat and wearing a cast for a year is not that common, especially when my brace was so unusual. And my parents pretty much had all the industries covered, teaching, local pool, health care, and engineering. My mom’s a project manager so she works all over. If I smiled at some one or sang in the store, people knew me. I’m not being paranoid or over stating things, it was like that. So being here I can open up and be myself, I can hear flashes of the girl I used to be when I talk to people. I smile more, I laugh more, I’m more open and care free. I am comfortable with myself, the way she was.

As for what I should know by now is that my arm is the ultimate buzzkill, woke up this morning and my hand hurts its nerve and regular pain combined, hasn’t been this bad since I carved a pumpkin a halloween or two ago. I guess I asked for it yesterday doodling for 2 hours in a meeting we had at work….with my right hand, so I was very much reminded why I write with my left hand. And I am itching so bad to ride my bike every time I drive, its bad. And because of my arm I couldn’t workout today, and still use my after soooooooo I’m not happy with myself with letting my arm get in the way……but sometimes I know its not good to push it.

Overall I am happy I have been looking for that girl for the past 3 (almost 4 years) and I’m finally seeing glimpses of her.