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…..its seems I have hit a new low. I know I over do my arm, with writing especially, and this week I have done just that. Only we’ve gotten to where my hand just doesn’t respond, its maddening. I’m also used to occasional random twitching but right now its more often then occasional.

Why? I know exactly why, I’ve been writing too much with it. And I know I shouldn’t be but… its hard ok? When I’m stressed, tired, frustrated it is irritating to have to write with my left hand. Its slower, more cumbersome and just adds to my frustration.

What can be done about it? Nothing!!!!! Except give me drugs, which I don’t want. The drugs they give me for straight pain makes my brain fuzzy, I don’t like that feeling. The medication for nerve pain? If you read the side effects, awful. So those are not happening. More surgery? What’s wrong with my arm now cannot be fixed by this method, if anything it is more likely to cause even more damage. This leaves us with my current medication…..which is all I’m really comfortable with. But what’s troublesome for me is, at what point should I take them? My arm hurts every single day, but I don’t want to take medication every day of my life.

And so….that leaves me here. I can’t complain about it, because there’s no point…its not going to change anything. Its not as if I haven’t already complained about it all before, realistically nothings changed…and nothings going to. I can only really change my attitude. But when all you feel like is crying about it…..its hard to create a better attitude. So I guess that signals its bedtime, and hope that things are better in the morning.